Happy new years!/ my existance

Okay, so shit this has been a long overdue blog post but hello self. This is your space cadet speaking, we are stable in orbit. Haha I need to get my shit together! It feels great to read past post thought! Its so revitalizing and motivating because its like, hey! That was me exactly a year ago!... oh...I was in a world of shit. Haha no kidding right? Well good news is I went back to my old new years post and saw my resolutions...and its funny how I could say I fixed 3 or 4 of them out of 7 NOT BAD TOM not bad Obama face. Haha well, I ay 3 or 4 cause I can't quite say that I fixed my sleeping schedule cause well..here I am! 6 in the morning with work at noon. Fml lol.but I have fixed my sleeping schedule. I haven't been late to work in a really long time. Sure not energized every single time, but I'm there and I wake up and it feels great. Cause I sleep too! Haha other new years resolutions I've achieved is well, of course getting a gf, happily together for omg! Almost 6 months! And that would make it 10 months actually if you include the intense dating for 4 months...not bad Thomas not bad. Then I kept my head up...matter of fact I'm more confident about who I am than I've ever been in my life, freaking awesome. And last but certainly not least, is well, Thomas from a year ago, I do not think about death anymore so give yourself a pat on the back. Haha

Essentially I really grew mentally and inward, typical me. I'm still trying to figure out if I was even in school a year ago...I'd be really disappointed in myself if I wasn't.. but yeah fick Thomas before we catch up let's create a new time capsule shall we? It seems like 7 isn't a hard number of objectives so let's goo...

1) GET BACK IM SCHOOL. I swear if you even think about staying out of school for any longer I will hurt you...seriously you will read this in a year and it will hurt. So go! Stern face#

2) Work on your hygiene. I want to see teeth whitener, no more self consciousness about bad breath bad Bo or dandruff, I know I tend to cycle through the three. What?.. I sleep in a bedroom that barely fits two beds and I literally have to reach through a crack of a door in order to access my clothes in my closet. My room is a mancave.

3) Get my freakin license. Its not that hard and you know how to drive.


Edit::

Hello febuary! exactly one week ago febuary 25th I got my first tattoo. I hope you like it!, future Thomas aha. I've been trying to move forward from my last blogpost and its been hard because im stuck in a predicament that has me going in circles in my head. Apparently, my life tends to throw more complex drama at me than anyone else since im far beyond social drama....idk. But I need to only pick between two if I intend to move forward. work, relationship, and school is too much...but im not ready to make that decision yet, I don't think ahyone in my shoes would be ready to make that decision yet because school isn't just that simple, im not learning anything there..its night classes and I still owe 3 grand so, ima take my fucking sweet time.

I had more new years resolutions when I first stat=rted writing, its unfortunate that I forgot what I was going to write. I've been trying to force myself to write this whole month because I was oozing with ideas and the palet that was half eaten of inspiration. I realized blogging for me is like drinking water. My life is a maze and the only way I can leave bread crumbs to understand what would be the best way to approach things is by my blog. Looking back at who I was is no longer a burden, I don't think its been for a while now. Its just very educational and I really appreciate that.  Theres not many ways for me to know who I am because everything around me is so disposable... people.. places.. memories.. pictures. When you look at it like that life gets rather depressing so instead im going o just say im going to fall back on one thing that I know to be true and that's me who I am or who I think I am.

Which brings me to the idea of distance. For the past several days ive been feeling very distant. Its not so much me being distant but me needing to be distant, and feeling distant anyways because I haven't given myself the proper time for that. It was me screaming that I need distance. I have a petpev that embodies exactly this thought. I understand why its bad that I have this petpev because when I crave for distance I crave to see everything as separate from myself, it provides a feeling of safety that can never be found anywhere, the understanding that the world around you is the chess game you play but the knowledge you obtain and the skills you aquire in head, that can never be taken away. And for me to feel that I need distance is exactly what I need during a crisis like this one, but even the slightest bit of ntervertedness I feel is wrong because I need to be one with my surroundings.

Such complexities cannot be understood by one whom has not yet tried to remove themselves. Its a feeling of confidence and it refines the character, like a establishment that they have become who they are whether or not there are any future influences, its a moment to save and progress.

Anywho what else is new, I need to have a drink. but my life has been pretty solid. im going to be living alone soon. im not sure how I feel about that anymore.

Im trying to leave this blog to be as open as possible so I can continue blogging again for next time but at the same time, finally present some closure to the past dramatic post.

lets end it here.